Lawyers do it in their briefs.

A partner I havent seen since last summer came back from vacation today. He saw me and greeted me with a smile and gave me a hand shake. The problem is, that the handshake was the same one we had in the fraternity. He's not a fellow frater unfortunately, because if he was we would be responsible for some major office debauchery. We would start our days by going through all the associates offices and make them line up like a bunch of pledges. Then we would take all the food items found in the kitchens and throw them on the associates in an attempt to berate their self esteem. Then after the office is good and messy, we will make the associates clean up their messes. After all, what good is a pledge, i mean associate, if they cant do household chores. While the pledges clean up their messes, partner and I will set up lawn chairs and wear hawaiian shirts while we drink expensive vodka out of coconut shell glasses. After we are good and crunk, we will parade around the office stealing everyone's stapler and piling them all on the desk of that annoying lady who complains that someone stole her stapler.

Next, I will take the spectacle back to my desk, to check my email. I speak from experience when i tell you that you cant respond fast enough, when a partner asks if you want to go get lunch. And remember, order the lobster.

I will then call every other associate in the building and pretend to be a named partner. After a brief discussion about their lack of performance, I will fire them and take back the company Porsches.

Right about now, my alcohol induced psychosis will be wearing off and a bitter associate will remind me that I am just a lowly summer clerk who needs to work approximately 26.5 hours a day for the rest of my life just to be in the position to pull all this crap, and also to afford that '87 camaro will dice in the mirror.

Yeah, it could happen...