Studying

If you want a short study break, take a gander here.

Warning: if you are Type A, dont do it. Seriously. Consider yourself warned.

New Career

Im seriously considering dropping out of law school to become a full time romance novelist.

-This caffeine induced post is brought to you by my middle finger and Federal Income Taxation.

hair

People are starting to look like death around here. Most have bumped hygiene down a few more notches, practically leaving it extinct. Not that hippies ever cared anyway. There are more red eyes here than at a Grateful Dead concert. People are drinking 3 and 4 red bulls a day. Donkeys are being used instead of roller bags to cart books back and forth. All for the noble privilege of representing someone in a legal battle. I dont think we charge enough.

Too Good

Wouldnt you think that someone ranked #1 in their third year class would understand that the library's no food policy included pop tarts? Wouldnt the interpretation of the sign depend on whether the sign was actually a final integration? Would the parole evidence rule apply if the librarian was caught sneaking food in?

How I roll.

I carry this picture in my wallet. Mostly so my wallet actually contains some type of paper , but also for those days when i just want to show people how loco I really am.

life

life has been pretty messed up lately. school has taken a hit as a result of my actions. now i must study to save my ass. whether the rest of the messed up things work themselves out, i can only wish.

Oral Arguments

Oral Arguments are finally done. I went in there with next to nothing prepared and it served me well. Except for that whole part where i forgot to mention certain things. Either way, its done. The judges did not fall for the chewbacca defense, nor did they even care who ordered the code red. And word to the wise, writing your closing argument on your ass cheeks and then asking the judges to read it for you is not reccomended, unless you do ask many gleut flexes as I do each day. The judges were impressed with the tone and shape (of my argument pervs).

In sum, I would like to wish you all well on finals, that is unless you are in my classes. Then, i would prefer if you could not take the final. And handcuff yourself to the smartest person in the class.

Yes, i am behind on sleep.

Red

Approximately the color of the girl's face whose laptop decided to play some ridiculously ghey songs at a very high volume in the library despite the fact that she was trying to shut the sound off. For 30 seconds. While everybody in the library stared and laughed at her. Yes, impugn the girl with the malfunctioning computer. Why? Becuase its finals time and we need a laugh.

Boycott

In light of Tom Cruise's antics the last few years, I have decided to boycott his movies. In fact the only movie I will ever pay money for is Top Gun. Im really hoping everyone follows this boycott. He is an example of celebrities that forgot how they became rich and famous; because we used to care. Bon voyage dipshit.

Uninspired

Either i havent had much to say this week, or my body has been inhabited by midget hippies attempting to save the earth. So in the mean time, do the law school community a favor and sue someone.

Funniest Deposition Ever

This is the funniest deposition ever. Need Sound.

-hat tip to Raife

Who is in bed with my foofie?

I've been immersed in the legal world for almost 3 solid years now since my first becoming a file clerk. During the years thrice I have conversed with hundreds of attorneys, thousands of law students, 14 judges, and many professors. One thing is clear. The number of people that work in the legal profession and dislike it, significantly outnumber the amount of people who "like" their job. In fact, im willing to say that 3 out of every 4 attorneys would do something different than be a lawyer if they could do it all over again.

So where does that leave me? Where are these jobs that a JD opens the door to (excluding Westlanw and Lexis)? Im seriously entertaining one of these elusive jobs after graduation. I know its a bit early, but i have yet to find an attorney practicing less than 5 years who enjoys their life. Why should I be subjected to misery just to "give it a shot"?

I heart trapperkeeper

Im finally hip again. No, i didnt spend the weekend re-learning the macarena. I bought a new cell phone. Not any old cell, the motorola RAZR. This phone is sweet. It listens to me when I talk, unlike some people. If i want a pizza at 5 in the morning, i say "order a pizza" and badabing, a pie is bestowed to my presense in 30 short minutes. If i say, "do my tax homework", done. I ask you dear readers, what has your cell phone done for you lately?

Advice

• Cell phones do not soften fabric, despite what the sock gnome tells you.
• Appellate briefs really do take more than 3 hours to write.
• Spring break will never be long enough. Ever.
• Waiting to study Tax until 1 month before exams could be the best and worst decision you've ever made.

PS. If i had your phone number at some point, and you would like me to call you at some other point, please email your number to me. If you dont have my email, I probably dont want to your phone number*

* unless you have money, tax outlines, plane tickets, or male enhancement products**

** for my friend. seriously.