Pre- law students usually ask me what law school is like and I try to give them the best answer possible. I don’t want to steer their young minds in the wrong direction so I try to be effective by using a good analogy. Law school is a lot like Karate Kid I. You move to a new town, a new school and you are not sure what to make of things. The apartment that they told you was a palace is actually a dump, run by the local slumlord (my apartments).
At school you aren’t sure what to make of things so you look in the mirror realizing your average (we are all the cream of the cream) and decide that you should hit on the most popular girl in school, only to find out that her boyfriend is a blonde, muscle bound tough guy (torts, contracts, crimlaw, property) who takes Karate lessons at a local Cobra dojo.
Blonde muscle guy, who never really starred in any other movies realizes that you are messing with his squeeze so he does what any jock in the 80’s that doesn’t own an Iroc Z does. He picks on you. In defense you decide that the best way to spite him is to wear a ridiculously cumbersome Halloween costume, and come to the dance dressed as a shower. When hilarity ensues, you spite Blond Muscle Guy by putting your face directly in the line of fire of his fists- o- fury. After you run away like an androgynous one hit wonder actor dressed as a shower curtain, you run to your old Asian maintenance man and ask him how to learn to be tough (tutorials, supplements, coffee, sleeping with the teacher, etc). He does what anyone with a right mind would do in that situation. Treats you like a pledge and hazes you (Socratic method). He then makes you do silly things like wax a car, take out the trash, wear a silly headband, all in the name of taking down Muscle Bound Guy who I just remembered is named Johnny (Final Exams). The only problem is we need to fit in a montage so that the movie make a few bucks (you know you went to see it). Insert the montage here, where Daniel stands on a boat and tries the crane kick, standing on the post on the beach doing the crane kick, and you guessed it folks, waxing more cars (studying for final exams intensely).
At the competition, Miyagi and Cobra leader who wears ridiculously tight black shirts stare each other down (lexis and westlaw).
Daniel and Johnny square off and for some reason the crane kick prevails (cramming for exams) giving false hope to wimps all around the world (I really tried it in grade school and got my butt kicked).
Daniel feels good until part two when he goes to Okinawa and falls in love with Kimiko who is taken by a guy who again, was only in a few movies. (realizing that this was only one term, and you still have 5 to go).
Moral of the story: Karate kid is quite possibly the greatest movie ever, and law school is tough. Oh, and never go to a dance dressed as a shower, unless you really like getting your butt kicked.
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