"Your Honor, my client would like to change this plea of not guilty and enter a plea of guilty."
"Counsel, are you sure that is a wise decision considering the mountain of evidence suggesting that your client is infact not guilty."
"What? There is? Oh....well...can I have about 5 minutes in the ladies room to think it over?"
"Counsel, you've had nearly 15 recesses to the ladies room in less than 2 days of proceedings. One more trip to the ladies room and I'll hold you in contempt of court."
"Fine. Can I have 5 minutes somewhere?"
"You can use my chambers. I'll have the court clerk keep notes for you in exchange for an outline of how you plan to change your plea."
"Ummm...actually Your Honor...I'll just wing it. Plea of guilty!"
"Council, you are totally incompetent. Say, didn't you share a class with me at Lewis and Clark?"
"Ummmm...yes I believe I did."
"Well, looks like your career has really taken off hasn't it?"
"Ummm...no Your Honor."
"Very well. On behalf of your client, the judical system, and the very principle of justice itself...you are hereby held in contempt of court unless you can explain to my why I should change my mind without using the letter 'S'. Also, I am Thumbmaster!"
"Your Honor! I'm not certain you can do that!"
"We'll you ain't getting a bathroom break to check it! Baliff! If she so much as utters an 'S' in the next ten minutes, mace her!"
"Ummm...shit!"
(mace hits her in the face)
"Oh my God! My eyes!"
"Counsel? My thumb IS down. Or hadn't you noticed?"
Her mistake. Little does she know you got an A in that class. The people who are too proud to admit that someone may be able to offer them some help- are the people who will never be able to make it to the very top in life.
2 comments:
"Your Honor, my client would like to change this plea of not guilty and enter a plea of guilty."
"Counsel, are you sure that is a wise decision considering the mountain of evidence suggesting that your client is infact not guilty."
"What? There is? Oh....well...can I have about 5 minutes in the ladies room to think it over?"
"Counsel, you've had nearly 15 recesses to the ladies room in less than 2 days of proceedings. One more trip to the ladies room and I'll hold you in contempt of court."
"Fine. Can I have 5 minutes somewhere?"
"You can use my chambers. I'll have the court clerk keep notes for you in exchange for an outline of how you plan to change your plea."
"Ummm...actually Your Honor...I'll just wing it. Plea of guilty!"
"Council, you are totally incompetent. Say, didn't you share a class with me at Lewis and Clark?"
"Ummmm...yes I believe I did."
"Well, looks like your career has really taken off hasn't it?"
"Ummm...no Your Honor."
"Very well. On behalf of your client, the judical system, and the very principle of justice itself...you are hereby held in contempt of court unless you can explain to my why I should change my mind without using the letter 'S'. Also, I am Thumbmaster!"
"Your Honor! I'm not certain you can do that!"
"We'll you ain't getting a bathroom break to check it! Baliff! If she so much as utters an 'S' in the next ten minutes, mace her!"
"Ummm...shit!"
(mace hits her in the face)
"Oh my God! My eyes!"
"Counsel? My thumb IS down. Or hadn't you noticed?"
Her mistake. Little does she know you got an A in that class. The people who are too proud to admit that someone may be able to offer them some help- are the people who will never be able to make it to the very top in life.
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