Funny Links

When you have lived in the woods too long.

When you are not creative enough to change your last name. For 10 generations.

Prof Evidence

Admitted to us that he is 72 years old. Geriatric, and senile, I am learning this class on my own. I only attend class because his test are known for being class related.

Is this you?

You sit there in class, listening intently. The senile prof rambles on for hours about senseless stuff. He says something clearly not on the exam, and the hum of laptop keys starts roaring. At first you decide not to type it. Then, peer pressure overwhelms. The 50 million Elvis fans cant be wrong rationale (Read: neuroses) kicks in and you write that crap down. Then, at the end of the term, you stare at your notes and wonder how the Spanish Inquisition applies to corporate mergers. Dont be this person!

Perfection in Threes

The three things I miss most about my old law school.

Somtimes the Beaver doesnt put up a good fight

Damn beavs. They always play to their opponents level. Almost beat SC. Almost beat UCLA. Lost to Arizona, the worst team in the Pac-10. Bowl contentions could be gone at this point. At least we have our basketball season to look forward to. Whats that you say? We haven't been good since Payton played here in the 80's? Well, at least we have our drinking team. That's one thing the Beavs do well.

No, you cant swipe your debit card

My blog is worth $4,516.32.
How much is your blog worth?

Why Canada should not be taken seriously.

First jelly doughnuts, then fries with gravy, and now this. I encourage you to check out the links to the left. The T-shirts are hilarious.

Real Men of Genius Part Deuce

Here's to you, Mr.All-over-your-girlfriend-in-the-library. The library linguist, not only do you disgust every single person trying to get an honest education, but you force them to observe your hedonistic spectacle while wearing tight-fitting clothes. Mr. Saves nothing for the imagination, you slurp on your girlfriend's ear so vigorously, her ear could possibly be the only slurpee left at 7-11 on a hot summer day. Mr. hands all over the place, you stop short of the full baseball game, but others around you feel like they should smoke an obligatory cigarette in honor of your conquest.

So heres to you, King Canoodler. And please, one small request. Take a few more minutes before you get out of your seat and walk around.

Real Men of Genius

Here's to you, Mr. Instant-Messages-His-Buddy-Half-a-Second-after-they-log-on.

You make sure the phrase "in touch" retains its bitter irony. The conquistador of the keyboard, you feel that "bugging" your friend is the best way to show that you care. You instant message people more times before 8 am than most do in a week. Your finger jockey skills have come from years of internet stalking. Those predatory digits attached to your wrists move so fast, they make Jet Li look like the snail from Spongebob. In fact you move so fast, most recipients of your "LOL, LMAO, Sup!" think that there is a robot on the other end of the keyboard. Sadly, no, its just you. Whats that you say? Breaking news? Nope. Just writing to tell me that you polished off a sixer in the parking lot. Thank heavens, for a second, I though all those little problems like world hunger would have gotten you down.

So here's to you, Mr.I-yadda-yadda. If I wrote the whole name again, I'd have to wallow in hypocrisy for the rest of this foresaken day. Have a beer on me today. Or twelve.

Weekend Update

Another one bit the dust this weekend, but to a good woman. Being the best man was cool, especially when I got to make the toast. It was good seeing all the guys again, but refreshed why undergrad is over and how happy I am to have moved on.

Got back together with Abogada also, which made my weekend. One month till i get to see her. Until then, back to the grind.

Its funny cuz its larger than the average size hat

No joke, this is how everyone dresses in Texas.

Stupidest Person Ever...Hands Down

If you thought you had heard some of some stupid people out there. Check this out.

Law Students

I've noticed lately that law students tend to be the most selfish people around. I know this promulgates the stereotype further, but it wouldn't be a stereotype if there wasn't some truth to it. For example, I was telling a fellow colleague about how I spanked my second memo, and all she could say was, "Why are you trying so hard, its an ungraded class?" Not congrats or anything. It is people like that who make me appreciate the few law students that I love and respect who arent like that. Like Abogada and Ares. Both nice, respectful, yet razor sharp when necessary. In fact, some would say that Ares has a rapist's wit. Abogada, can reduce most litigators to crying babies with just a few choice words. Thankfully, she likes my smile so she refrains from putting me in my place. So here's to you, Abogada and Ares, the last of the few good esquires.

How you know you're not in Kansas Anymore

I asked a 1L that supplied me class notes in my absence if she wanted my old Contracts I outline?

"Umm, I think im gonna be ok on this one. This class looks pretty easy."

Suit yourself.

Give them an inch and they take a mile

Faithful readers and loyal spammers:

It is apparent that Ope, Ares, Snowy, and Radeezy, and Puddles would rather comment on this blog (I am flattered gentlemen and lady) then on their own. In fact, Radeezy stood his own mother up for dinner because he was busy commenting on this blog. Either that or he didnt want to drive 10 minutes OUT OF THE PEARL WHERE HE HAS A CONDO if you havent heard by now.

So here is the grand idea. I am proposing a comment-off. Kind of like the walk off in Zoolander without the dirty underwear and Billy Zane. After all, is Billy Zane even a celebrity? Even Winona Rider is more of a celebrity than BZ. Anyway, off the subject here. In light of the theme of this blog, you are invited to comment on why Napoleon would or would not be a better president than W.

No distractions like quoting news sources, just plain old comment-off style. And Ares, dont try the underwear trick, we all know you dont wear em. Any references to Abogada and I will personally hire someone to squash your face like walnuts. Speaking of Walnuts, Snowy is in town. Next stop Bangersville. Let the games begin...

Update

I suppose most of you that know me pretty well, know that every so often I like to throw a pity party. Being dramatic was only exacerbated when I entered law school. Well lately, ive been pretty worked up about not having a job offer for next summer. Everyone around me has multiple offers and is complaining about how X firm has great work, but crappy lifestyle, while Y firm has great lifestyle, but is on the other end of town. Woe is me.

Its time to suck it up and prevail. I am kicking the ole cranium up a notch and plan on gunning for the top this time. Ive said that before, but this time I mean it. Actually I meant it those other times, but this is my blog and I can cry if I want to.

I am actually going to try a new learning style this term. For starters, I am writing my own outlines. I am also going to outline once a week to that I am not behind, as this was primarily why I didnt last year. And finally, I am low stress. I know that may not be apparent by reading the rants on this blog, but I really have loosened up since last year.

Now if you will excuse me, I have some asses to kick.

Mellon Collie

I woke up at 6 today, was at starbuxx by 7 studying up until the time my Beavs kicked the crap out of Cal. Underrated is all I can say about my team.

Now im sitting here reading corporations missing my girl, my homies, and new episodes of the OC.

And Snowy, the plasma Tv's that you are referring to are the ones that come with a blow up doll. Not the one I will be purchasing.

Refreshed

It takes a good woman to make you feel like this. Top of the world. Nothing can stop me now. 6 days with her wonderful smile. 6 days with her funny jokes and her silly dinosaur noises. I feel lucky in that most people never experience what I am truly fortunate to have.

Not only am I refreshed but I have a better attitude toward school. So much of the law school experience becomes what you make of it. I was really uptight my first year, thriving off the competitiveness of my peers. While the fruits of my labor did allow me to transfer to a well ranked school, something had to give. Less caffeine was the first start (hypocrisy at its finest as I just downed a latte). I needed to be more relaxed. Well here it is. I can officially announce that I am laid back. To prove it, I took a break from my work so I could go see her. It was well worth it.

So now im back to the grind, only the grind isnt the grind anymore. I am actually looking forward to cramming this stuff in my brain because I see that life improves when I do. I have goals and I have someone who cares for me. Life is good. Now all I need is 6k so I can get that 60 inch plasma Tv I want.

Dear Airlines

Thanks for making travel unaffordable for us common folk. Now how am I going to see my girlie over turkey day.

Im back

Surprised the girlie this weekend. The look on her face was breath taking. I had her roomate take her to the store while I snuck in to her place and placed a trail of flowers to her bedroom. I lit 50 tea lights around her room and waited for her to come home. The look on her face was priceless.

What a difference someone can have on your outlook. She made me smile all weekend, and for once I am relaxed and ready to tackle the rest of this term. And for those of you who cant stand fluffy, wholesome posts on this blog, I would abstain from checking back for a while. The next few are going to be sappy. I miss my abogada.

Danny Devito Swimsuit Calendar

Have you ever read a post on somebody's blog and thought that it embodied everything you want to say, only better. Of course you just did.

He may say stupid shit, but he's still Maverick.

Proof that Tom Cruise is not as stupid as people think.

Mental image

So my 70 year old Evidence teacher started the morning off by telling us that he flooded his house...Taking a bath. I've been nauseous for hours.

In other (not old and wrinkly ball news),I got Excellent marks on my first LRW memo. That makes me feel like a spring chicken. Maybe tonight I will stay up until 10pm. All depends on how hyper I get from my geritol and prune juice cocktail.

Civ Pro

Dear Ms.Shares my life as a paralegal before law school,

I have decided to break my trend of not posting in class. I couldnt resist this time. Your stories about your life as an up and hold on im cumming, paralegal, are anything short of breathtaking. No one cares whether you read 1000 pages a day for discovery. Furthermore, you could have taken your exorbitant salary made being a paralegal and gotten a voice transplant, so i dont have to hear the nails on the chalkboard every time you squeak.

Everyone has personal experiences. I have "personal experiences" and I have one for each and every issue we study. I will not, however, subject you all to my personal arrogance that you think is "sharing". Have a nice day!

Yours F'ing truly.

Good Morning

There is something beautiful about being the only one in the library. After getting EF'ed at Starbucks again, I can at least say that no men will be checking me out while I study. That is something beautiful in itself.

Blury at Best

"This class makes me feel like a have a hangover!" -Some classmate in Evidence this morning.