failure

things are really fucked up right now. i have lost my woman. at this point, she probably wont even let me call her that. I do know one thing. She is a good woman. Ive learned that even if a good woman is partly wrong, she is still mostly right.

Now the sadness starts. I'm not even sure that i can get over her. She pretty much is the reason I try to succeed in life. I didnt used to think that, until i met her. She helped me through a long, rough, period of my life. How did I repay her? By transferring schools. By leaving her alone in the big city.

I find it ironic that I actually didnt think she would leave. She and I have some differences, but damn, im not sure that they arent anything but minor details in the way. She is so wonderful in so many ways, and i really f'ed up in showing her. What am I thinking? She could have any guy in the world and she used to want me.

The hardest part about dating someone so wonderful, is that nothing will ever add up. I truly found the most wonderful woman in the world and I didnt do enough to make her happy. I wouldnt even say that most of her standards were impossible. She is by far the sweetest, most caring girl. She doesnt have "issues" like most. She comforts me when im sad. She knows when to give me a hug. She knows when I just need a kiss on the cheek.

I am still amazed at my stupidity. I need her to know how wonderful she is, and I need her to know that I would do anything for her. If she needs me to prove it this time, I gladly will.

If you read this baby doll, im sorry. i truly am.