Dear %#@#$#,
Thank you for rejecting me faster than anyone else has ever rejected me in my life. Even that model I hit on at the Hollywood club at least let me buy her a drink before introducing me to her BF. Not you though. Nice letter last friday saying that my file was complete and that the Dean would be looking at my application the following week. It isnt even Wednesday and the rejection letter was sitting in my mailbox cold. Considering yesterday was President's day and the post office was closed, that letter had to have been mailed saturday; a day after the other letter.
Regretfully, I have no choice but to kiss your asses not only because I still want to go to school at your fine establishement, but also for your prompt attention to my file. Did you bird enjoy going to town on it? Seeing as how I live in the same town as your school, I vow to do the same if you dont let me in. Just kidding. That was sarcasm you stodgy corpses.
So now I am begging you to let me in. I have skills. I figured out your scam didnt I? I am a proverbial fucking perry mason. Is there a way I can sleep to the top? Enough begging.
In conclusion, i wanted to thank you for the most emabarrasing letter I have ever received. Not only am i completely patronized, but also in sheer awe of your lack of tact. if in fact i do follow my destiny and become the best lawyer in the world, please ask me to speak at your school. After I accept the invitation, I will wear a break away suit. My opening line will poignantly state my disgust for your institution, and i will show the entire audience my nuts. Then i will laugh. Then I will cash the check you wrote me to appear.
Finally concluding, Fuck You. And by Fuck you, i mean thank you for the letter. I will be kissing your ass for the next 5 months trying to gain admission.
Sincerely,
Bent over in the Midwest.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Sorry to hear bro! Adversity is a bitch and I realize that no statement of the like will help. But remember this is where push comes to shove, men become men, and balls go deep. Hang in there and know that your going to be a damn good attorney no matter what.
If anything gets you down, just remember to count your blessings that your not an accountant....
Radeezy
It's never over...and in the end the most important review is the one that you give yourself- (sex and the city quote from tonight but hey it's true...).
"Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
You'll get there bro. It does not matter where you go, because you'll be a top notch lawyer no matter what.
~Randell
Post a Comment