And IMHO, if a girl is attracted to the guy friend, then chances are, they'll hook up eventually. If there isn't a lust factor on the girl's part, there's no chance in hell he'll ever get in her pants. He will be resigned to just her "pseudo-gay, go-to-the-mall, grab-a-latte, guy shopping friend."
You just named three of my favorite pastimes. Shopping, lattes, and going to the mall. I really think you know me and wont fess up. heheh. I think you should start dropping clues.
First, I think it's easier for girls to 'just be friends' with guys because girls aren't thinking about sex everything 2.3 seconds. Guys will be able to just be friends with girls only when they realize they're not going to get laid.
Second, it sounds like you really need to get something off your chest, and...
Third, if you take anything away from this blog post, it should be that you should never take advice about girls from Turd.
Color Me Jaded- It's a Catch-22. If a girl's income exceeds that of her man, the guy inevitably gets insecure because it's viewed as an affront to his manhood. Then on the flip-side, if a girl is looking for a guy to take care of her in the traditional sense of the word, she's deemed an opportunistic gold-digger. We can't win...
Color Me Badd- Again, if it's the girl who still harbors the feelings for the guy friend, there's a possibility it may develop into a relationship. If it's the guy who still has the feelings but those feelings aren't reciprocated, well, um, better luck next time...
What if the guy wants the girl to make more money so he can stay at home with the kids and play on the stock market. Believe me, that is no affront to my manhood. Me and my manhood would be perfectly fine with that. In fact, i believe the rapper Too Short came up with the perfect line for that situation.
"Make my money ho" Im pretty sure the person who quoted him forgot to add the "ney" to the end.
Alex, You will never be able to fully suppress your feelings. There will come a time where the guy will make a smart ass comment, or some other type of statement that destroys the status quo. This is especially applicable when the girl is an ex.
A.S., Man, your way off on the whole girl making more than me thing. A sugar momma would be welcomed, considering the enormous tuition debt I have incurred as a result of my graduate studies. ~snowy
Snowy- What makes you think a sugar momma will want to support you? I mean, is your tuition debt that enormous? Heheh. Kidding aside, wouldn't you feel a bit debased and ashamed to have a woman financially support you? I think it's a huge blow to the male ego. Money = Power. Not too many guys I know would willingly give up power to a woman.
I gotta weigh in on this issue again. For me, there is nothing wrong having a woman support me, provided I am filling some kind of domestic function. Give me a little money to throw around on the stock market and i am fit to be tied. She wants to go work 10 hour days while I shuttle the kids to soccer practice, school, and piano lessons, fine by me. The mid day nap is much more valuable than any long lunch break taken by the working folk.
But this raises another issue. will the woman be ok being the sole breadwinner?
I think its childish for other women to brand a woman a gold digger for choosing a man with means. So we're totally in agreement on that.
And I don't believe a single solitary word from Alex or Snowy about happily sitting at home baking pies while their girl is out killing herself for the family.
Fortunately, I know these two gents very well and can proudly tell you that each of them would dig ditches in Antarctica if it would provide for their loved ones.
Luckily, as a society, we're beginning to wake up to the fact that the big corporate job is not glamorous, executives don't enjoy long pointless bureaucratic hours away from their kids (unless their morally inept), and all the plane flights and expense accounts in the world don't make up for missing your kid's first step, or hearing them call you "Daddy".
There is nothing more heroic or endearing than a woman who guards the children from predators while we hunt the mammoth. This is why mothers get jewelry on Mother's Day and fathers get forgotten on Father's Day.
Honestly, I don't think I'd be ok with being the sole breadwinner in the family. Missing out on baby's 1st smile, 1st words, and the 1st time they grab you with their tiny little hands and plant a toothless, slobbery baby kiss on you, the sacrifice isn't worth it. You need to strike a balance between family and career. Children should take precedence above all else.
Personally, as a chick, I would have no problem being the sole breadwinner in the fam. However, I would also have no prob being a full time mom. I think what it comes down to is that everyone in the fam does the role that each of them can play best. This day in age it doesn't make sense to pick a role based on your gender. You should pick your role in the family based on your talents and abilities. It's a win win that way.
Ok, to clarify, I just said that I did not mind if a woman made considerably more than me, i.e. a sugar mama. I never said that I wanted to be a stay at home Dad, or whatever the hell Ope and A.S. were suggesting. In addition, my career aspirations will probably not fetch me a large income like many of my friends, at least not in the first few years. But I do feel that I will be providing an essential service, so that you all may enjoy your lifestyles without interruption, and I will feel fulfilled as a result.
But we have digressed considerably, I believe the original questions was can a man and a women ever be friends. ~snowy
20 comments:
Why not?
Only if she lets you feel her boobs.
Yes, but only if you don't have any desire to have sex with the girl, or if they are not an ex girlfriend.
Other than that, your f'd.
~snowy
Yeah, its only a matter of time before the friendship disolves into sex or seperates out of fustration.
Either you'll get drunk and try to sleep with her, or she'll go crazy wondering if you find her attractive.
Generally speaking, friendships are based upon mutual respect and admiration.
And if there is that much respect and admiration going on between a guy and a girl, they'll start baby-making.
The question I have is...why is this such a problem? I think it's a great system myself.
I'd just like to add to what opetke had to say:
Respect + Admiration = Friendship
Respect + Admiration + Attraction = Relationship
And IMHO, if a girl is attracted to the guy friend, then chances are, they'll hook up eventually. If there isn't a lust factor on the girl's part, there's no chance in hell he'll ever get in her pants. He will be resigned to just her "pseudo-gay, go-to-the-mall, grab-a-latte, guy shopping friend."
-A.S.
Anonymous Stalker,
You just named three of my favorite pastimes. Shopping, lattes, and going to the mall. I really think you know me and wont fess up. heheh. I think you should start dropping clues.
Respect + Admiration + Attraction = Relationship
Respect + Admiration + Attraction + Money = Marriage
In fact....
Money + Money + Money + Pulse = Marriage
Color me jaded
But what if one (or both) still have feelings for eachother and thus need to supress them for the sake of the friendship?
color me badd
I just have a few things to add:
First, I think it's easier for girls to 'just be friends' with guys because girls aren't thinking about sex everything 2.3 seconds. Guys will be able to just be friends with girls only when they realize they're not going to get laid.
Second, it sounds like you really need to get something off your chest, and...
Third, if you take anything away from this blog post, it should be that you should never take advice about girls from Turd.
I meant 'every' - not 'everything' - oops. Everytime I cram some useless statute into my brain, I lose a little grasp on the english language..
Color Me Jaded- It's a Catch-22. If a girl's income exceeds that of her man, the guy inevitably gets insecure because it's viewed as an affront to his manhood. Then on the flip-side, if a girl is looking for a guy to take care of her in the traditional sense of the word, she's deemed an opportunistic gold-digger. We can't win...
Color Me Badd- Again, if it's the girl who still harbors the feelings for the guy friend, there's a possibility it may develop into a relationship. If it's the guy who still has the feelings but those feelings aren't reciprocated, well, um, better luck next time...
-A.S.
What if the guy wants the girl to make more money so he can stay at home with the kids and play on the stock market. Believe me, that is no affront to my manhood. Me and my manhood would be perfectly fine with that. In fact, i believe the rapper Too Short came up with the perfect line for that situation.
"Make my money ho" Im pretty sure the person who quoted him forgot to add the "ney" to the end.
Alex,
You will never be able to fully suppress your feelings. There will come a time where the guy will make a smart ass comment, or some other type of statement that destroys the status quo. This is especially applicable when the girl is an ex.
A.S.,
Man, your way off on the whole girl making more than me thing. A sugar momma would be welcomed, considering the enormous tuition debt I have incurred as a result of my graduate studies.
~snowy
Snowy- What makes you think a sugar momma will want to support you? I mean, is your tuition debt that enormous? Heheh. Kidding aside, wouldn't you feel a bit debased and ashamed to have a woman financially support you? I think it's a huge blow to the male ego. Money = Power. Not too many guys I know would willingly give up power to a woman.
-A.S.
I gotta weigh in on this issue again. For me, there is nothing wrong having a woman support me, provided I am filling some kind of domestic function. Give me a little money to throw around on the stock market and i am fit to be tied. She wants to go work 10 hour days while I shuttle the kids to soccer practice, school, and piano lessons, fine by me. The mid day nap is much more valuable than any long lunch break taken by the working folk.
But this raises another issue. will the woman be ok being the sole breadwinner?
Have you ever babysat? I don't know what Midday nap you're talking about... unless your kids are like 9 maybe, no, not even then.
-d.
I think its childish for other women to brand a woman a gold digger for choosing a man with means. So we're totally in agreement on that.
And I don't believe a single solitary word from Alex or Snowy about happily sitting at home baking pies while their girl is out killing herself for the family.
Fortunately, I know these two gents very well and can proudly tell you that each of them would dig ditches in Antarctica if it would provide for their loved ones.
Luckily, as a society, we're beginning to wake up to the fact that the big corporate job is not glamorous, executives don't enjoy long pointless bureaucratic hours away from their kids (unless their morally inept), and all the plane flights and expense accounts in the world don't make up for missing your kid's first step, or hearing them call you "Daddy".
There is nothing more heroic or endearing than a woman who guards the children from predators while we hunt the mammoth. This is why mothers get jewelry on Mother's Day and fathers get forgotten on Father's Day.
Honestly, I don't think I'd be ok with being the sole breadwinner in the family. Missing out on baby's 1st smile, 1st words, and the 1st time they grab you with their tiny little hands and plant a toothless, slobbery baby kiss on you, the sacrifice isn't worth it. You need to strike a balance between family and career. Children should take precedence above all else.
-A.S.
Personally, as a chick, I would have no problem being the sole breadwinner in the fam. However, I would also have no prob being a full time mom. I think what it comes down to is that everyone in the fam does the role that each of them can play best. This day in age it doesn't make sense to pick a role based on your gender. You should pick your role in the family based on your talents and abilities. It's a win win that way.
Ok, to clarify, I just said that I did not mind if a woman made considerably more than me, i.e. a sugar mama. I never said that I wanted to be a stay at home Dad, or whatever the hell Ope and A.S. were suggesting. In addition, my career aspirations will probably not fetch me a large income like many of my friends, at least not in the first few years. But I do feel that I will be providing an essential service, so that you all may enjoy your lifestyles without interruption, and I will feel fulfilled as a result.
But we have digressed considerably, I believe the original questions was can a man and a women ever be friends.
~snowy
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