Whoever said that MTV was not good for teaching life's lessons was full of shit. After watching 3 episodes of "the Hills" I have learned one of life's most important lessons:
Women would rather date hairy, unattractive losers, who have good fashion sense, rather than successful men.
Prove me wrong. I dare you.
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I call it the "Jack Sparrow" senario. In the first movie, you've got Elizabeth all set up to marry this clean cut dashing Commodore. But she gives him up for a scruffier Will Turner, who is almost trumped by an even scruffier Jack Sparrow. I mean, that time on the beach with the rum was a close call for her. Turner only winds up with her after he becomes a notorious pirate.
Of course, if you've seen the second installment, you know that my theory holds even more validity. But I won't give spoilers.
The girls always want the Jack Sparrow who will probably knock em up, treat them like garbage, and then go sailing the seven seas. Why do you think the song starts "Yo ho! Yo ho! A priate's life for me!"?
They're just calling their bitches.
I don't get why it works. I just fake being an asshole to get laid. End of story.
First of all, Jason does NOT have good fashion sense. And personally he reminds me of a hobbit for some reason. Secondly I think girls just go for the obvious jackasses, because most guys are jackasses anyway. This way we feel like we made the conscious choice to date an asshole, instead of dating a guy who we thought was nice who turns out to be an asshole anyway. At least this way we don't have to feel like we got tricked into dating an asshole. I think it just gives us some sense of control over our dating life- when you know the guy you are dating is an asshole all along- you never feel dissipointed.
I'll believe it if I know you've been dating a lot lately.
I can see dating the occasional asshole. All guys have had that low point in their lives where they deliberately go slumming it.
But this is becoming an epidemic. What do girls have against collared shirts and well paying careers? What is it about earrings and guitar lessons that makes a man attractive?
Boys, pack your bags and grab a toothbrush. We're dating in Russia where they like backbones and money.
P.S. Of course none of this reflects on the lovely and gracious Miss Abogada and her potentially single sister.
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