A rare mushy post for the readers who actually pay for their subscriptions

I used to be a dweller. Whining about how things used to be. Wishing they would return to the way they are permanently frozen in my head. This wasnt healthy. Take control of the things you can change, and let life serve you up the rest. Happiness is not a destination, after all. It's a state of mind, and youre the only one who can change it.

Happy (Insert Made up Corporate Holiday Here)

Happy Valentines Day everybody. Do yourself a favor and carry a spoon all day. It will make gagging at the people in love all that much easier.

Karma

How quick we are to forget that the very way we treat others is exactly how someone down the line will treat us.

LA face with an oakland booty

The trip was fun until we got flagged at the border coming back. Customs agents are probably the most unpleasant people around, notwithstanding law students.

Shove off eh! Club unclefucker in full effiizzle

Its likely that by the time you read this I will be navigating the voluptuous slopes of Whistler, BC. Enjoy work and school bitches..

In Rex we Bust

Either im getting old or marketing companies are failing miserably. I laughed at the Doritos commercial and the ethicnically insensitive Budweiser ad. Other than that, i was sorely dissappointed. Not that i watched the second half or anything. Some of us have to work for a living. We cant all be blog-reading slackers.

Lightning strikes twice

Twice in two years i've caught a law student eating their boogers. Have we so few little food that we must resort to bodily discharge as nourishment?

open letter to the stock market

Dear stock market,

Thank you for killing any hope i had of paying my law school debt down. In fact, with your recent downward spiral I will be lucky to send one of my eleven kids to college. Perhaps the only way you can make this world just again is by reuniting Guns n roses or neutering Paris Hilton. At the very least, give me my money back.

Yours truly,

Broke a$$

Not complaining

I feel oppressed with how much work i have to get done in the next few weeks. Much like the feeling when you realize that the replacement heads for your electric toothbrush are $6 a piece.

Prof Trademark keeps saying "primarily merely" over and over again. Is this not redundant?

Alex 1, pessimists 0

The interview went extremely well today. I was offered and accepted the position on the spot. The four person firm focuses mainly on business and real estate matters, exactly what im looking for. The partner spent almost three hours with me, and at various times, was very forthcoming with compliments regarding my background and credentials. He stressed the variety of work i would receive and for the first time in my student career, someone was actually chasing after me to work for them.

I already received my first project and deadlines and have a ton of work to get done in the next few weeks. It should be challenging to juggle everything considering that i have 15 pages to go on my paper and 5 other demanding classes. Its time to buckle down and get things done.

I got mackdonows, and you aint got none

Me, myself, and I have a job interview at a business firm downtown tomorrow. I'm celebrating. We goin Sizzler!

In Rex we trust

Excuse me for the lack of posts lately. I've been busy having a life. School seems so insignificant these days in light of the job search. Also trying to figure out which bar to take. Oregon or Illinois? Thats like choosing steak OR lobster. Why not both? Maybe I should decide based on who wins the superbowl?

thrice

Bad things happen in threes:

1. I bombed IP.
2. My friend next to me just spilled coffee in class.
3. The prof just said four horrible words. The Rule Against Perpetuities.

You wanted the truth, but you couldnt handle the truth.

Prof Trademark asked for participation this morning. Yours truly gave it to him, with an answer verbatim from my IP class last term. Then, PT had the nerve to tell me i was wrong, without offering any rationale explanation why. Much to my satisfaction, a few other classmates that were in IP chimed in and agreed with me.

Morale of the story: classes at 8am taught by toothless professors are annoying.

Reader's Poll

Which bar do I take?

snow falls, boredom ensues

My classes thus far:

• Secured Transactions: UCC Article 9 and all the other stuff i need to know for the bar. This one should be my hardest this term. If i go. And turn off the internet. And stop text messaging.
• Trademark Law: The teacher unilaterally changed class from 8:30 am to 8. Then he stated that 100 pages of reading a week was barely enough. Subsequently assigned 60-65 per class. TG for case summaries.
• Wills/Trusts: the silvery haired teacher rambles on and on. and on. and on. Surely he must have some type of senility. i hope he has his estate planning in order. The end cant be very far.
• Lawyers in Society: aka recess. aka fun time. We discuss lawyers and the different issues they face in society, like being rich and stuff. Or what to do when your butler calls in sick and you want fresh made waffles. 3 writing assignments, no final. Our first class discussed why lawyers are hated by society and a couple lawyer jokes were told.
• Family business seminar: this class was canceled this week because of snow. Had it been in session, it probably would have dealt with owning a family business and the legal issues that arise. Like when a family member takes money from your business and blows it all on a stripper named penelope. Not that this has happened to me, but just in case it does, i want to be prepared. Because a true friend stabs you in the front.
  

All in all, classes look good this term.

Youmotorboatingsonofabitch

School is back and im excited. Not that school is great, but two snowdays is enough to give this guy a bad case of cabin fever. So bad, in fact, that i was chasing cars making this face.

part 2

Snow day again. Yesterday was fun, but now im bored brainless and cant use my car to get anywhere.

Snow Day

The soft fluffy white stuff is coming down. School will likely be canceled shortly. Time to put on my sledding shoes.

No MLK love at my school.

Aside from the fact that everyone else has today off, I am happy to start my last term of law school. More importantly, I found out that I got a B- in Admin law, a class i thought i failed. I rock. So im celebrating the rest of the day; by working on my term paper. Anonymous stalker: still waiting for the birthday present you promised.

Because I can, part 4

Imagine how rough things are for me today. I only got 8 hours sleep instead of my usual 9.5. Exhausted...

reflection

How much has law school changed you? Probably not much if you aren't a law student. But for those like me, my self identity has changed drastically. As a mentor of mine, poignantly stated, "the law is a seductive bitch." It reels in creative, idealistic masses, and spits them out jaded and weary of what follows. The bar is a hoop as is the job hunt. We are drones, driven by the enormous debt, destined to take the best paying job we can get. Why? Because 1300 a month student loan payment isnt going to pay itself.

Still, I wouldnt trade it for anything. It was all worth it. Even through all the hell. Its one more arrow in my quiver. I dont feel like my peers; the last three years are not a waste. I look back at the last three years with fondness. How many of life's important choices come with the same conclusion?

Why the number 8 is hypocritical

Vacation is almost over and I dont have much to show for it. Well, unless you consider the fact that I have been averaging 9.5 hours of sleep a night, am in decent shape, and can still drop it like its hot.

I suppose i am pumped to start this term, mostly so i can get it over with. I have a 30 page paper that I am 4 pages deep on. I have a month to pick where to take the bar exam. I dont have a job, unless you consider fondling Victoria's Secret mannequins to be full time employment. I am, however, "rich" because of you guys. My dear readers. Even you, Anonymous Stalker, despite the fact that you are a forty year old man, creepily posting on my blog while parading around your parent's basement wearing Martha Stewart brand lingerie.

Alright. Good talk.

RIP The OC, alternatively titled: four seasons of "thats how we do it in the OC, Bitch!"

Apparently I have crappy taste in television shows. This is the only plausible theory considering all the shows I love get cancelled prematurely. First it was Fastlane, then North Shore, and now The OC. Do I love crappy shows or are the networks just trying to spite me?

Make every day count

The new year is upon us and i am looking forward to it! I started January 1st extremely optimistic, only to be pulled over and ticketed by an arrogant cop for failing to show proof of insurance. Turns out, my insurance card is in my bulky wallet that i havent been carrying around because its too bulky. Maybe i need a murse?

Anyway, aside from the encounter with the pig, the new year is off to a great start. I graduate in a few short months, im bound to win the lottery eventually, and global warming makes Oregon rain less. In all seriousness, things are looking up. Hope everyone had a great new year.

Me

Im slowly learning that you cant get what you want out of life if you're not really sure what you want. Get to know yourself and then maybe you will find what you've been looking for.

It's me time, and I like it that way.

Done

Finals are finally over. The last one was brutal because mentally i was checked out, more so than I usually am. Life is changing really fast. New changes are ahead. Looking forward each day im lucky to get. I guess you could say that makes me rich. Happy holidays everybody.

ps. i felt really sentimental when i wrote this, so bite me if its sappy.

Hi

You'll have to excuse my lack of depth here lately. I've been trying to avoid the motivation killer known as 3L. It seems lately most people have given up hope of doing well. Even 2L's are starting to get jaded, which is such sweet irony for us 3L's. There once was a day when we were all bright eyed, idealistic, and motivated to change the world, one semester at a time. Time passes and one day you wake up jaded and ambivalent to your choice to become a lawyer. You chug through it because its manageable. Not exactly a reason to stay doing it, but when your $90k vested, you have a little incentive to stay the course.

So far ive had three exams:

• Alternative Dispute Resolution: learning to counsel your clients who dont want to pay 400/hr for litigation but will gladly shell out 300/hr for nonbinding mediation. Consumers really are stupid sometimes.
• Administrative Law: aka walk the line. How long can alex go without reading or bothering to learn before it comes back to bite him in his toned ass? 2 questions exactly. 2 questions out of 75. I guessed on 50% of that exam. I truly hope i passed. If not, here's to an extra class next semester.
• Intellectual property: this class was tough but informative. I would rather take this class than poke my eyes out with hot knives. I would rather take this class than to listen to Assleee Simpson for 3 hours. This class was great and the exam was fair. And, for the first time, i think i actually studied the correct information.

Up next:

• Entertainment law: questions i wish were on the exam: Why is tom cruise so weird? Why does Axl Rose rock so well? Why does Anonymous Stalker want to reveal herself but wont? Why does the word reveal make me giggle like a schoolgirl?
• Taking over the world: not sure how this one is going to go but if people are going to tell me i have a Napoleon complex, dammit im going to earn it.
• finding a job: i need scrill, cream, cash, mooola, bank, etc. Donations of aforementioned are gladly accepted. Donations of other kinds are not.
• having fun: i have three weeks off and i intend to use it wisely. Also i started a netflix subscription so i can rent fatal attraction and swimfan, and the basic instinct trilogy all the same time. With no late fees. Sorry, i was contractually obligated to mention the last part.

Have fun. We'll be seeing ya.

Almost forgot. GNR concert was unreal. If you talk to me you already know that. If you dont, sucks to be u...

Happy Holidays

Since Anonymous Stalker wont identify herself, it was hard to buy her a holiday gift. I opted for this. Enjoy!

Question pour toi

Can men and women really be friends?

Melancholy and the infinite sadness

I'm not good at sitting around while something I dislike is happening. Usually I try to personally change something that bothers me, but this time its out of my control. My hell is having to sit back and watch. Transitions in life are never easy. Being forced to move on is sometimes a blessing in disguise, but that only holds true when you find something better. I just want everyone to be happy.

My ADR final is tomorrow. Looking forward to getting it out of the way so I can concentrate on Admin, IP, and Entertainment Law. Best of luck to those wrapping up their semesters.

Hungry Hungry Hyppos

XM radio costs about 7 bucks a month. Imagine my amusement when a caller requested a song and then told the DJ how he was making his holiday presents for his family because he didnt want to spend money on them. Nice priorities dude.

Stage 5

Anonymous Stalker,

I know you are a law student. That much is obvious my your use of big words like sardonic and discern. But you are noooo stalker. By removing the blog you dedicated to me, you relegated yourself to an internet blog lurker. Stalker has such a better ring. So unless you intend to change your initials to I.B.L. (which is tad close to IBS dont you think?) you should just come clean and reveal yourself.

Sincerely,

This blog writer

28

Thank you to those special people who are already making this a great birthday. You know who u are.

WTF

Seth and Summer broke up in real life. They were the last cute couple still in existence. My faith in humanity is lost.

She's not exactly street legal

Classes wrap up today which for me, is another mini-graduation. 7 days till my first final. 5 days till Guns n roses. 1 day till my birthday. 5 hours until Anonymous Stalker unveils herself to me and ends this madness.

3 more days

How many people would actually remember your birthday if it wasnt for your myspace profile?

Stupid quote of the day

"Most people would rather be certain they end up miserable than risk being happy."

I heart white tanktops

Law school is one year too long. Motivation after the first year decreased a little, but after the second year its really tough to stay focused. After being scared shitless through a couple years of finals, the last year just doesn't seem as daunting. Like the beaten housewife who thinks her husband hits like a bitch, we just dont brace for the hit anymore.

I will however scuttle back to the kitchen.

A question for the readers

I have a friend, who for the purposes of this post, we shall call Snot. Snot shaves his arms. Is this attractive ladies?

tryptophan residue

I've been sitting here in the library for four hours and i cant concentrate on anything. Finals just dont scare me like they used to. In fact nothing really scares me like it used to. Law school makes you numb.

End hypoglycemic rant.

Gobble Gobble mofo

Some days im green with envy over the things that other people have. Other days the envy provides me the motivation to go out and get these things for myself. When all is said and done, I truly have many things to be thankful for such as:

• My wonderful family and friends. Without you, things would be impossible.
• People who have stayed close despite rough times.
• My awesome dog Jack.
• My health.
• A wonderful Anonymous Stalker who really needs to identify herself, even though i know who you are. C'mon already. Just unveil yourself. Heh heh. Unveil.
• My annoying law school. While I despise you in several ways, I am truly thankful for the education I am receiving and the intellectual stimulation i get on a daily basis. Next year, admit all the hippies you want, cuz this capitalist is almost outta here.

Happy Turkey Day Everybody!

legal eeez

Legal translation of Entertainment Prof saying "im not going to test on this": Turn on instant messenger.

In more exciting news, this blog author is waiting for pics of anonymous stalker.

[Update: same prof just coined C+C Music Factory as "Rap Music". He's 70+ yrs old. And wears Roca Wear.]

I put the prude in jurisprudence

A classmate told me this blog has been boring lately. I wish i had more exciting things to post about, like how Anonymous Stalker sent me flowers and chocolates as an early birthday present. Or, i could post about how Michael Richards just passed up OJ Simpson for douchebag of the week. Or i coudl tell you about my rock hard abs and how they bring the girls to the yard. And they're like "its better than yours".

For my coup de gras i woudl like to invite the readers to submit a title for post, to which i will write a few sentences. Sometimes the puppet yanks back on the strings.

is this thing on?

The only thing worse than studying for finals, is studying for finals and writing a paper, and writing a presentation. So if you dont hear from me for a while, thats where i am. This term is proving to be more difficult than most in more ways than two.

I could blog about it, but airing my personal laundry on here just doesnt seem appropriate anymore. So consider yourself cut off.

PS. I am convinced i know the identity of Anonymous Stalker

If I did it, here's how it would have gone

A chick with a moustache made fun of me today. I took the high road. However, someone just got signed up on Gillette's product sample list.

Quote this

People say your supposed to "treat law school like a full time job." Fine. Today is the company picnic. Tomorrow is sleep with your secretary day.

The 23rd haunts me

I didnt get any studying this weekend and im proud of it. The rest of this month is going to be tough anyway.

Me like the music. Me love it when its hot hot hot.

This explains why im always sleeping with the window open.

Captain's log supplemental

I get carded more for R rated movies than i do for buying alcohol. Thats hot!

lofty mediocrity

I think it was Brad Pitt's character in Fight Club that said you arent truly free until you have completely given up. That is somewhat true from what i've experienced in law school. Take Administrative law for example. Even the threat of failure is not enough to take class seriously. I read and study but just cant follow class discussion. I even took one of my favorite profs for this class. Thus, i have given up for now. The final is in a month.

Joey is french for creepy mccreeperson

Apparently "Joey" is a name for "losers." Losers who have nothing better to do than copy my Myspace pictures and use them on their profile. Joey has even gone as far to add 86 ladies of the Columbus, Ohio area as friends using my glorious visage. I feel violated in every way that counts. More importantly, I'm looking for a friend who wants to do spring break in Columbus this year. No sense in letting Joey's hard work go to waste.


[Update: As of this morning, Joey has removed my pictures, replacing them with shots of him spreading nacho cheese all over his body, mainly on his feet. Different strokes i guess, but why do creepy people seem to be attracted to nacho cheese?]

Happy Birthday

Today would have been your 25th birthday. Rest in peace Nate.

We be tubbin

The bachelors thrice have a hot tub being delivered this week. Trouble will likely ensue.

Band of Horses

After a couple of beers, the Emo Monster reared its ugly head. I spent the rest of the night running from it.

Equine Musicians

So im going to see Band of Horses play tonight and everyone seems to laugh as if im going cow tipping or something. Someone even asked if Mr. Ed was playing drums.

Imagine if it was a real band of horses. The Budweiser Clydesdales would be the Insync of horse bands. Ashlee Simpson would be the Ashlee Simpson of horse bands. Awesome. You heard it here first folks.

Mount up.

Happy Birthday Eric

Happy Birthday little brother. Hope your day is great.

As if you care

Sick. As. A. Dog.

Send Gatorade asap.

Trojan Man?

Never underestimate a Beaver, no matter how strong the Trojan's claim they are.

Beavs 33, USC 31

Proof that the end of the world is nigh part II

People are actually accusing a dog of biting a 200lb football player who fell on him when the play went out of bounds. Imagine that. A dog that defends itself when stepped on. WTF do they expect the dog to do, roll over and play dead? I guess this controversy sheds light on the rumor that Southerners are more inbred than their canine companions.

Why I am not a "Republican"

Michael J. Fox is being criticized for "exploiting" his disease by endorsing two Democratic Senate candidates who back stem cell research.

[enter Rush Fucking Limbaugh, M.D.]

Rush Limbaugh, in the usual tactless Republican demeanor said that MJF was embellishing his body swaying, a symptom of Parkinsons Disease, during the filming of the endorsements.

I fail to see how MJF is exploiting anything. By backing a couple Senate candidates, MJF is merely aligning himself with candidates likely to promote cell research; the only chance MJF really has to extend his already shortened life.

Had MJF merely said "vote for these guys because im a celebrity and i endorse them", then there would be cause for criticism. MJF didnt though, and merely urged the apathetic public to vote, suggesting the corresponding country wide impact of voting.

The fact that Rush and other Repubs feel the need to criticize MJF for this is purely abhorrent.

Perhaps im wrong here? This is why I will never call myself a Republican. I may vote Red when the time comes, but only when the candidate transcends the ignorant and unchanging stereotype that prevails modern conservative republicans.

End Rant.

Life is a highway

Timing in life is everything; especially if you are a runner.

Resume Padding

I need a creative way to articulate on my resume that I have a dog and enjoy playing with him. Employers gush for men who can take care of an animal. Or is that chicks? Either way, "dog-lover" just sounds gross. Throw me a life vest here.

If i listened long enough to you, I'd find a way to believe that its true...

I'm bored, not republican, and dont have much to say today. Life is short, play hard. Just do it. There's no I in team. Tyson's feeding you like fam-il-y. You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

All apologies

I did something today that i've never done before. At first it was hard, and I wasnt sure i could go through with it. Against better judgment, I did it anyway. I doubt anyone will find out, but i wanted to vent about it here because i feel guilty. All interested parties gave consent, and im pretty sure its not a crime in this jurisdiction. Sometimes you just have to give way in the heat of the moment.

I voted Republican.

Because I can

http://www.vizu.com/exp

How much do you really care about what i am for halloween.

A Lot: you desparately want me to post halloween pics Some: you dream about what im going to wear like Swimfan: you already know what im going to wear even before i do

Create Free Polls

Reader's Choice

What should I be for halloween?

Tom Cruise Risky Business Sexy Cheerleader Notoriously successful accountant with a penchant for wearing fruit loop colored wifebeaters

Create Free Polls

67% of the time it works every time.

I've written three posts today but deleted them as they just didnt spit out what i wanted to say. So anyway, happy thursday everybody. Tomorrow is another mini-graduation of this thing i like to call law school. Stay classy.

PS. I need more halloween ideas.

So far im leaning towards: Risky Business outfit.

My hero

Do you want conservative, quiet Jim?

Or Agressive, meathead Jim?

Under the bridge

The most intriguing thing about life to me is how unpredictable it is. We all have visions of the future, but I have been consistently amazed, and humbled, at how often my life completely changes.

I fell in love with a new city this weekend- Seattle. The atmosphere, the culture, the people, and the chance to start fresh but still remain close to my family and friends. Perhaps a job awaits me there?

This weekend also saw my Beavers beat UW by 10 after starting the game as 11 point underdogs. The Beavers looked persistent, a character trait that is obviously omnipotent in any application.

Spent time with some good friends, ones that will always be close at hand. It was only a matter of time before their perspectives and positive outlooks rubbed off on me. Many recent wounds have been mended, especially with their help.

I am a changed man. A centered man. More importantly, I am smiling, looking forward to what the future holds.

Everyone loves a townie!

See you at tha Crossroads

I briefly spoke with Kobe's agent today. He gave me some encouraging and helpful advice on becoming a sports agent.

The gravity of the next few months is starting to weigh in. By March I need to figure out which bar im going to take.

Off to Washington to see my Beavers stomp some Husky pride. Stay classy.

Halloween 2006

The perfect costume is proving elusive to me this year. This is what i have so far. Any suggestions?

• Tom Cruise Risky Business
• Naughty Cheerleader
• Naughty ________

Cha-Ching

In pursuit of a sports law job, yours truly has an informational interview with the agent of none other than THE KOBE BRYANT. Go me. Its my birthday.

Your momma dont dance and your daddy dont rock in roll.

A lawyer lectured today in sports law about a high-profile drug testing case he argued before the US Supreme Court. When asked what it was like arguing in front of the Supremes, he replied, "Just like arguing in regular court, except with sour cream and tomatoes on it."

Discuss.

The most important question you have ever been asked

Is it Black-Magic woman, or a Black, Magic-Woman?

ciao bella

Sometimes the right thing to do is to say goodbye.

Go Beavs

I met with Career Services to talk about the job market. I was greeted with encouraging news which was exactly the shot in the arm I needed. Also, I registered a couple student bar associations to boost my networking skillz. Not to be confused with my bow staff skills, or my numchuck [sic] skills.

Im off to see the new Jack Nicholson flick, then tomorrow to see my Beavers stomp (yah right) the Cougars. Have a safe weekend everybody.

Alright. Good talk.

Im done with the woe is me plight. Sorry for those who have endured my whining for so long. Time to look forward to whats to come. Ive been doing a ton of soul-searching and im ready to make myself happy again. Sorry to those ive hurt with my selfishness, and thank you to all who have supported me thus far. Expect good things from here on out. Good things.

Giffy

This is how i feel today. Need i say more?

The job search.

Its kind of strange how your best intentions can sometimes turn out the opposite of how you planned. You may have seen your life going in one direction only to find it twisting another. The job search has been fruitless so far so I have expanded my search to many other states. Perhaps my future job lies in Chicago, California, Arizona, Texas, Ohio or Washington?

Morte

If you dont believe love is dead, watch 8 minutes of The Bachelor.

Youre in the jungle baby.

Some people never get to realize their life long dreams. I, dear readers am not one of them. Today i guaranteed that #6 on my list is assured: Seeing Guns N Roses live. December 11, 2006. Happy Birthday to me.

It's funny how some names fit comfortably right next to McMullet

Pearl of Wisdom

Time OUt

Terrell Owens is the biggest attention whore ever. If he really thinks he's depressed, maybe he should try reading Administrative Law.

Sometimes an outer spoon just wants to be held

If for some reason I dont like practicing law, i've thought about writing romance novels. I mean how hard can it be. Oops. We accidentally have a title for my first novel. "How Hard Can it Be?"

Daily dose of Irony

Entertainment Law is fucking boring.

Guess who's back bitches?!!

Guns N' Roses relights fire
Axl Rose leads a solid revamped lineup that wins over some but not all of wee-hour fans at marathon KROQ show.

By Ann Powers, Times Staff Writer

"I see fire!" said W. Axl Rose as he peered out at the masses filling the huge Hyundai Pavilion in San Bernardino. He'd spotted a small conflagration somewhere past the loge area, which was soon extinguished. But Rose, the singer and proprietor of the concept called Guns N' Roses, might have been articulating his hopes for the band's first Southern California appearance in 14 years - a nervy homecoming that could have proved disastrous, but five songs in, was going all right.Rose did bring the fire, but it wasn't always reciprocated by the fans, who'd been at the amphitheater all day Saturday to witness KROQ's annual Inland Invasion fest. After sets by arena-rock aspirants including Avenged Sevenfold, 30 Seconds to Mars, Papa Roach and Muse, plus the poignant return of grunge standard-bearers Alice in Chains (with solid new singer William DuVall replacing the deceased Layne Staley, and Chester Bennington of Linkin Park jumping out for a cameo), tens of thousands of black-clad beer drinkers were primed for GNR's onslaught of heavy-metal parking-lot hits. They didn't even riot when Rose took an extra hour to get onstage (around 1 a.m.). But GNR's two-hour set, which relied primarily those hits, only held half the room, as others fled when Rose tried new material or gave one of his three guitarists a lengthy chance to stretch.

Those who stayed enjoyed a rejuvenated Rose. In 2002, when he last unshackled GNR from the studio sessions for the perpetually delayed "Chinese Democracy" album, Rose wasn't really ready to tour: his pipes were rusty, his physique chunky, and his band unable to click. He proved free of those ills this time as he howled through such barn-burners as "Mr. Brownstone" and "It's So Easy" or mid-tempo epics including "November Rain," hitting even the high notes.Still sporting that baffling corn-row ponytail and looking tight around the forehead, the 44-year-old Rose nonetheless reclaimed his mojo. Big rock gestures drew attention to his agility: his patented snake dance, now more of a big-cat prowl but still commanding; speedy runs down the long side-stage ramps; even a leap atop the baby grand as Dizzy Reed (the only band member from GNR's glory days) played the rolling, unreleased ballad "The Blues."Rose's theatrics verged on mugging, but were perfectly timed.

There was a bit of Sinatra-in-Vegas in his approach: Rose is aware that, this late in his career, his gestures could seem hardened, so he throws in a little emotional distance to epoxy the hits his way.What's grown more flexible is Rose's relationship to his band - always an autocracy, but now one that leaves a little room for his subordinates to relax. Guitarist Robin Finck, in particular, has grown toward something like equality with Rose; his solos flashed and bubbled, deviating enough from ex-GNR lead guitarist Slash's style that they gave hope that the new Guns N' Roses is becoming more than a replicant. The other two guitarists, Richard Fortus and Ron Thal, demonstrated killer chops but less brio, mostly hewing to notes that replicated the original versions. Still, when Fortus and Finck turned Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" into a sky-is-crying style blues, Slash's memory was almost - not quite - washed away.

That guitar interlude was one of many allowing Rose to exit the stage, presumably to rest his voice and maybe slap Sebastian Bach on the back. (The Skid Row singer joined Rose onstage in a chummy run-through of GNR's "My Michelle.") His costume changes, though simpler than Mariah Carey's, were just as frequent, and those absences affected the set's pace. The crowd's mood also sank when the "new" material surfaced. It's not that the prickly "Better" or the abstract but promising "I.R.S." were weak; they just couldn't match the excitement of "Sweet Child O' Mine," songs that reinvented the power ballad, or the exquisitely bittersweet "Patience." Those certified classics got the throng singing, which energized the band, the electricity trickling up until Rose himself gained another layer of rock-star aura.

A few fans could be spotted singing along with the night's four unreleased songs; they're easily available on the Internet. "You downloading ... - you're responsible for putting us on this gig," Rose chuckled in a rare bit of stage patter. GNR doesn't need Internet buzz to attract fans, any more than Bob Dylan does, but if Rose needs to believe online buzz is bringing GNR back into the light, let him fool himself. Maybe he'll put "Chinese Democracy" up on iTunes.

Newtons Law

"Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys dont want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think-something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."

Right.

Because it will get ripped out

Spring Break Thailand!

The scary part is her routine consisted of chasing customers around the club yelling "you cannot run from The Claw!"

If you dont think that's funny, youre an uptight loser and probably dont find four grown men wearing superhero underoos while playing volleyball and acting out a homo-erotic scene from Top Gun funny.

Is everybody really happy, or just a lot better than me at hiding their real emotions?

Kiss my ass

Today is the first day of Love Sucks Month. Celebrate in style by telling the cutest couple you know to fuck off.

How much would you pay for this?

Rattle and Hum, Song 18