Study Break

Im taking a little study break and I wanted the chance to reflect on this past year.

One year ago I was living in SoCal working in the entertainment industry as an administrative assistant (executive's bitch). I was surfing 4 days a week, living check to check. Life was one big melancholy trip. I was having fun and broke. No real chance of advancing in my career, that is unless I spent more time on the casting couch. Not my style. So I decided to study for the LSAT.

Now im in the library 10+ hours a day. Hell, i dont even wear clean clothes every day (Sorry, but you all know im not the only law student who does this). My college buddies are all having a good time. I sacrifice mine because I know in a few short years I will have my dream career. And if i dont, im gonna sue someone.

Is my butt really glued to this chair?

I came across this post on Buffalo Wings & Vodka for 1Ls in their first term. Found it particularly inspiring. Either that or lunch is acting up again. For the second day in a row, I have too much caffeine in my system and not enough brain power to use it.

I study for this exam.

I study for this exam knowing that it will be arbitrarily graded, that 125 papers is too much for any man to stay awake through (let alone care about), that my professor’s four-year old will be given free reign with a gigantic red crayon, and that a slight hitch in the wrist of the blindfolded chimpanzee throwing my particular dart could mean the difference between an A+ and a C+. But still, I study for this exam.
I study even though there are important football games to be watched, real books to be read, terrible wrongs to be righted, flowers to be smelled, babies to be kissed, animals to be petted. I study knowing that all over the world there are people who wake up each morning thinking “My God, it is great to be alive!” instead of “My God, there are only two days left until the exam and I haven’t done a single practice question yet I am totally fucked and should probably quit right now to save myself the pain and humiliation of being the ballast at the ass-end of the curve and flunking out after only one semester please someone, anyone, HELP ME!” I know this. And I know it is wrong. But still, I study for this exam.
I study for this exam in the hopes that it might impress someone, that the girl from my section in the coffee shop will think "My, isn't he dedicated," so that my professor might, upon reading my exam, declare that I should immediately be given not only an A+, but a JD, an LLM, and a tenured professorship. I study because I believe, on some deep, visceral level, that my studying will yield an exam so perfect, so sublime, so deserving of the highest imaginable praise that Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. himself will show up on my doorstep and ask to shake my hand. And I study because I have not yet let go of the delusion that I might be the one who breaks the cycle, who ends up pleased with his grades, who makes it to February still liking law school. Irrational? Yes. Delusional? Certainly. Will that stop me? Not likely.
Because as the hours continue to melt away, each one taking with it another ounce of self respect, another shred of dignity, I am certain of very little. I'm not sure why I came here, I don't know where I'm going, and as of this moment I'm only marginally confident that I can remember my own name. But, when this is all over, let it not be denied that, if nothing else, I did indeed, study . . .for this . . . exam.

Are you kidding me?

Been in the library almost 10 hours already with a lot of contracts getting done. Im looking around and the usual people are here looking depressed and uptight as ever. I noticed one girl playing solitaire. Are you kidding? She must love the library to the point where she doesnt mind staying an extra long time just so she can get her daily fix of card shuffling in. I guess to each their own, but solitaire would make me more crazy than I already am.

16oz of coffee, extra black and 20 oz of mountain dew have me jittering like a crackhead. But can a crackhead move and shake like this (insert Jon Lovitz shaking his belly).

Would ritalin be considered the anabolic steroids of law school?

Backdraft

I feel like if you opened my brain a huge backdraft would send all the information in my head out. Putting in more time in the library in one day than Kathy Lee's kids work all week.

Today, the terrible contracts class. For some reason this class is hard to me, and its boring. A bad combo. Nothing like the fear of failing to have my ass here at 7am. The only other person here on this floor is my buddy S. Its nice to find real people here in law school. People that arent selfish. Most law students are selfish. Thats why they turn into greedy lawyers. So S and I are here kicking some ass, so dont forget to give us your name later.

Coffee, youre my only friend.

The best part of waking up is folgers in your cup

How many of you sang the jingle in your head when you saw the title? Guilty as charged. Im in the library at 7 am today. Not the most exciting place to be, especially if youve been to vegas, but at least im not doing labor like i was before college.

I will be here studying all day. It was dark when i arrived and it will be dark when i leave. In 16 days when i walk all over my finals, this will all be worth it. Years from now when i am sprinting after that ambulance, knocking over old people as I reach for my business cards, this will all be worth it. Whos gonna have the last laugh? Me. I tend to laugh longer than most people.

Stuffed and Mounted

I think I ate a week's worth of food yesterday. We had a pot luck dinner with some friends that were all stuck in town like me. We all needed the study time, and home was just too far away. This is was the first Thanksgiving that i have been away from home, and it was weird. Good friends are a close substitute but nothing beats family.

17 days till finals. Long hours until then. Vacation is for sleeping. Wrapping up Crim law, so I can concentrate on Torts, Prop, and Contracts. Looking forward to finals. It will be time to see the fruits of my labor.

Speaking of fruits, I saw Alexander last night. Waste of a movie. 3 hours of homoeroticism stuffed with bad dialogue, little plot, and poorly laid out action sequences. We almost walked out. In fact, the only reason why we didnt is because we were smack in the middle of the entire row.

Back to the books. Hope everyone has a trip back.

When it rains it snows!

We finally have snow on the ground. Tons of the fluffy white stuff. It keeps coming down and down. I am putting in some time in the library tonight so I can watch some football and eat some good food tomorrow without the worry of studying bothering my digestion. Its unfortunate that i cant be home for thanksgiving, but it is for a good reason that I am not. I miss all my friends and it will only be 3 weeks until I see them. Until then, I came here to do two things. Study hard and kick some ass. Looks like im almost done studying...

Who's the Turkey Now?

This town is particularly annoying. No grocery store in walking distance, no starbucks, and a whole lotta annoying law students. It seems like everyone gets to go home for turkey day. Except me. Im not going to whine about it too long. I guess this is the point in the term when a four day weekend can come in handy. The only problem is that im stuck in this town with nothing to do except study. Ghetto. The marketing dept at this school is great. The brochures make this place look like the streets are paved in gold.
So now, ironically it seems, that i am working hard to get out of the ghetto. I plan on using this weekend to my advantage. A little turkey with some friends, a little football, and a crapload of studying. I figure that if i time it right, i will be perfectly nuts and burn out as i hit that last sentence on my friday exam. Then 13 days of detox and back to the grind. I cant tell if im nuts or everyone else is. Caffeine is my alter ego.

Maybe i shouldnt blog when im in a bad mood?

Soakin' it Up

There is nothing quite like a 12 hour day in the library to make your brain feel like mush. What better than to go see a movie that requires little thinking at all. Spongebob Squarepants is hilarious. I would say that its aimed middle of the road, not too childish, not too raunchy. This was the perfect break I needed to vent some law school stress. What could be funnier than a sponge with an anxiety disorder, a plankton with a napoleon complex, and a mysterious Krabby Patty recipe? There were many parts of the movie aimed at adults, including a hungover Spongebob from eating too many ice creams the night before. Anyway, this was a well deserved break.

3 weeks till finals. thats about 300 hours left to study. Hope thats enough time. Tear.

War Update

In other news, the war of attack outlines is raging in full force out here. False pretenses just moved in and surprised Marketable title using a flanking move used most notably by the great Mike Ditka. Many elements were lost, but unfortunately this is a repercussion of war. On the eastern front, Strict liability used its broad liability to corner False Imprisonment. Battery moved in to help FI but Assault came in and used the "no damage required for assault" technique to eliminate Battery.

President Barbri said the war on outlines will continue until we find weapons of stupid gunners. While we are not sure that these weapons or even the outlines are responsible for the mass terror of law students. A wide search of all the law schools has not produced any of these weapons so far, but this hasn't stopped president Barbri from furthering his "cause", leaving more elements subject to death. Proximate cause became mad at the claim that law schools had weapons of stupid gunners so he decided to run for president. Alas, the elements were split and PC did not win, so Barbri will be in office for 4 more years.

Meanwhile, the war continues. Negligence continues to be the all encompassing force to be reckoned with. Negligence doesn't have much to live for and has cost our elements many lives at the hands of suicide bombers. How many more elements will die before the war is considered futile and all an effort to further enrich President Barbri's assets? Only time will tell. Im Rodger Lodge, and until next time, stay beautiful America.

Grow Up

We are sitting here in the library, clicking away on our comps when we hear a loud thud. The sort of thud that is unmistakeable. The sound of a person falling. Now an ordinary person would instinctively turn and look to see if someone is alright. We law students apparently have forgotten the humane instincts that keep us from being loathed. A perfect example: After the poor girl fell, everyone that was in a close vicinity began laughing. Students cheered. People came from other sections of the library to join in on the festivities. It was hard not to smile, and even giggle a little inside, but I wasnt going to add to the girl's embarassemnt. Remember in the movie Titanic (you know ive only heard about because i dont watch chick flicks) when people were throwing others out of the way to get to the life rafts in a hurry? Those people were all lawyers. Law school has a way of making some people lose their sense of humanity. Im suprised a few 3Ls didnt walk over to her and coerce her into suing the school for negligently having carpeting installed that would clearly trip someone with rubber soled shoes. I wonder if self loathing is part of every lawyer's transition into this noble profession?

Stupid Phrases

For a profession that teaches one to communicate concisely, effectively, and powerfully, it sure has some stupid phrases common to the law school culture. What the hell is an attack outline? I don't see william wallace yelling "hold" while your elements of larceny fight against accomplice liability sneaking out of a Trojan horse. Dumb phrase. Reasonable man? Please. Everyone is reasonable. "a reasonably prudent buyer"- isn't this redundant. Isn't this redundant. Just kidding.

I understand the reason to coin a term to popularize a style, but attack outlines mean nothing. Why don't they call it "shorter outlines", or "less than a damn treatise outline". Or "bet you wish you would have written more so you don't miss big arguments outline".

Flashcards are my best friend right now. Itching for the OC on Thursday, even though I wont get to watch it until Sunday. I called Fox and asked them to switch the day so that I can stay current. I didn't think that was too much to ask. Still waiting for a call back. Back to the casting couch.. I mean studies. hehe.

The OC(D)

From a marketing perspective, the City of Orange County is stupid for not advertising during the OC. They could have a 30 second spot with a montage of the beach, women, lifestyle, etc, and a slogan saying, "Yes, its really like that ". Simple, effective, and would allow them to raise property prices ensuring that no kids our age would be able to buy a home in this lifetime without two incomes, no kids, and no sushi addictions. Dont even get me started on the sushi prices.

Thursday's OC was great. Marissa is charging the yard guy for double duty. Very cliche hollywood. Predictable but still highly entertaining. Fox seems to know exactly how to keep us tuned in, glued to the tv until the following week. There is "OC night" everywhere. Be lucky. Where I live this is what people are talking about. Dont even think about clothes for my birthday...

"The only thing worthwhile in life are the people in it". Jimmy from the OC

Goodbye ODB

Another music legend has died. No, im not talking about Axl Rose. Think gold teeth. Think 14 illegitimate kids. ODB has left us. Its unfortunate about the kids also. He has so many, they are each likely to get about $18 dollars after probate, assuming his gold teeth were paid for. Changed the context of "Baby i got your money" doesnt it?

They say celebs die in threes. Rick James was first and now ODB. Who is next? They did have one thing in common though. Cocaine was one hell of a drug.

My Junior Investment Banker friend decided to stop towing the anchor and look for better employment. Its nice to see people sticking their necks out there to search for happiness.

Once when asked why I liked living in California, i replied, "If you're gonna sit in traffic, it might as well be sunny outside". Happiness for our generation will be what we make of it. Property is all bought up, jobs are few and far between. Find a career that makes you happy in some aspect, because realistically, that perfect life is alot different now that we are grown up. Isnt it? I love the fact that I am chasing the dream. Not knowing how this term will turn out is scaring the crap outta me but it makes me feel alive. That is more than i can say for all the days I woke up, dragged myself to work and wondered how my life would be if I accepted the fact that I wasnt happy with my career choice. So here I am. And here are all these books im supposed to be reading. I will leave you kids with a quote that a wise cheerleader gave me.

"Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked."

Ps. More to come tomorrow. Im watching the OC my friend taped for me tonight.

5 weeks to go

The library at 8 am is great. I can yell. I can run. I can eat food. I am more productive at this hour before all the kiddies show up and start chatting. I never quite understood going to the library to talk. 4 weeks till finals. The burner is heating up.

The Peterson verdict was a nice way to end the week. In my mind and the jury's, there was enough circumstantial evidence to nail him. Even while circumstantial still very compelling. He was not a family man. He sold manure. Looks like shit, smells like shit, probably is shit. And now he's going to get what he probably deserves. Most doubtedly not quick enough.

Britney Spears has a greatest hits album. Shouldn't it be a Greatest Hit album. I didn't know she had more than one good song. Proof that this country is only concerned with making money. Years from now, when we are old and gray, our grandkids will look at the classics and see trailer park. Maybe that alone will motivate them to vote. Back to the books...

Quote of the day:
"Sometimes the majority only means that all of the fools are on the same side."

Technology is not our friend

My school decided that it would revert to age old law school exam techniques by requiring the majority to take their exams handwritten. They leave the option to type your exam with the caveat that there is a limited number of spots. Very limited indeed, creating a mad panic to turn in applications for this as soon as the application process began. Being 50+ wpm typer, it would be a great disadvantage if I could not type my exam, so the pressure was on. In the process, I pissed off some friends and I still dont know if my application was received in time. Damn computers. We are better off without them. Friends would not be mad, law students would not be panicked, and Washington would still be known as that state above Oregon, not MicrosoftLand.

Inspiration or Just Bad Chicken?

As tensions mount every 1L on campus, I find myself more inclined to become stressed out. Until now. I just finished an appointment with a TA for my property class. He explained to me that he used to be a cardiovascular technician before he came to law school. Countless times he had to resuscitate a flatlining patient while having doctors screaming orders at him. Many patients died. After that, he said, there was no pressure walking into a law exam. "It just an exam. You don't die if you fail" he said. The words couldn't ring truer.

Its time to be the Zen law student. Unaffected by class gossip, untouched by rumors of assignments, and finally, untouched by lack of sleep.

Week 10

Its getting to be that time of the term. Those that are near dropping are collapsing, people are drooling on their books in hopes that Property 1 will provide a good pillow while catching a little shut eye at the library. I feel good about where im at. I could be further but that is always the case.

The one thing that ive noticed the most about studying law so far is how much it opens your eyes to the crap of society. I have always had expectations for the general humanity that are rarely met, and the curriculum certainly qualifies my opinion. In fact, it even makes me feel worse about the world. Daily we read about lawsuits, torts, adultery, injuries, deaths and pretty much everything else you can argue about. Its hard to think that its possible to have a personal influence on the world when you see so much crap around you. Maybe the lawyers who only do it for money have something going for them. I have lately decided to explore public interest law, aka "working as a waiter on the weekends, just so i can pay my rent, but its ok because im saving the world" law. We shall see how that goes. On the other hand, maybe the world just needs another greedy asshole wearing a $300 dollar tie, splashing the treehuggers waiting for the bus as I drive by in my M series. It could go either way. More on that later...

My republican friends are loving it lately. For the most part they are gracious winners. Lets see what W does for the economy and for the troops overseas. Im not putting my Alex P. Keaton sweater yet.

This study break is over. I hear an ambulance coming. Better lace up my Nikes.

Weezin' the Juice

No OC for me. Ive got more important things to do. Yep, you heard it correctly folks. Law school beats trumps the OC. I keep envisioning the kick ass lawyer on the show "Sandy" missing out on all the fun while sitting through all those years of law school before he could get the 35,000 square foot house on the beach in the town where everyone looks good, even the hired help. And yes, everyone from California does look good, at least on TV. You dont agree? Two words. Anna Nicole. (barf)

So tonight, while everyone is watching the OC, talking about how surfing is this year's trendy sport, I will have my gluteus maximus parked on my less than cushy chair in the library, reading about Insanity Defenses.

Good things come to those that wait...